On the dangers in supporting our friends when they have been treated unjustly: Rowan Williams in his book on Teresa

“Proper love in community involves deep sympathy with the real needs of others (7.5-6), and we must not be nervous of the ‘natural tenderness’ stirred by this, so long as it does not become the kind of sentimental partisanship that destroys corporate life. This is why it is important not to sympathize with self-pity or self-justification. Teresa’s chapters on detachment and humility lay a good deal of emphasis on bearing unfair accusations patiently, and she insists that it is no sign of friendship to encourage the self-righteous resentment of someone who (rightly or wrongly) believes herself to be suffering unjustly. Our greatest practical service to each other in community is, for Teresa, the mutual destruction of that sense of ‘honour’ which the very existence of the reformed Carmel is meant to challenge; and so the refusal of sympathy over slights and even slanders is of considerable importance. We are to be consistently helped to find our honour in the friendship of God.”

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